I walked into the grocery store on a particularly beautiful day. Birds were chirping and I was humming some tune that I have no idea what it was, but it was just bursting from my soul. My list was in the exact order that the grocery store was set up, so I breezed through the super wide aisles in no time, finding everything I needed. Even the "weird healthy stuff". No one got in my way, no one stood in the middle of an aisle blankly staring and totally unaware that other people might be in the store. No one held open the freezer door so that it fogged up and I couldn't see what I needed without opening it myself and freezing my tail off. I all but skipped up to the register and presented my rewards card only to find that everything was on sale. Boom. I am a champion grocery shopper.
Then my alarm sounded loudly and I awoke from this dream.
I admit it. I hate grocery shopping. It's one of the things that tests my very Christian foundation and challenges me to be a nice and patient human. I become a character out of "Grumpy Old Men".
So here's how it usually goes for me...
I wait as long as I possibly can on Sunday afternoon, until I absolutely have to go. Which, by the way, I have found that waiting until late on Sunday is a terrible idea because that's when most stores just begin to restock and are low on items. This also adds to the overall horror of the situation as the reality that I will be coming back tomorrow after work sets in. I think I have actually uttered that "oomph" noise out loud in the meat department before. Lesson learned.....multiple times. And still I procrastinate.
I show up to the store pep talking myself before I even get out of the car. I grab a cart and everything seems okay, until I get just far enough to make going back to switch it out completely inconvenient and... it's the one with the "crazy wheel". So I'll be getting an arm workout while I shop. Produce is the worst because its like losing at an Easter egg hunt. Fruits and veggies all around me, but I have to find the right ones and do it quickly. Then it's meat, and after that, up and down every aisle because that "in-the-exact-order-of-the-grocery-store" list that was in my dream, exists there in dream world, and only there. Each item that goes in my cart is carefully chosen with budget in mind, and yet when I get up to the check-out, the number climbs and climbs. But truth be told, by that point I would give the sweet girl at the register all of my money, my right arm and possibly visitation rights with my first born to just go home. The saving grace is that when I get home, my husband and our pups are there ready to help me unload and put it all away. Well, the pups just sniff the bags, but the presence of their cute little wagging tails is its own kind of help.
Thanksgiving was a few days away, and there I am, trying to figure out when to shop and not want to pull my hair out. Sitting at my desk, I decide to google some of the ingredients I need on Alexander's website, just to make sure they have everything and it will be a "one stop shop" situation. (Side note: If I have to shop anywhere, Alexander's is the most enjoyable. They have calming Christian music playing in the background, friendly staff and all the "weird healthy stuff". My other favorite is Whole Foods, but it's further away) So back to the story - I type in the first ingredient...And behold............
It was like Tom Hanks finally making fire in "Castaway". I'm pretty sure angels sang that same song that was emulating from my soul in my dream, and a bright light shone from the heavens onto my computer. Divine intervention. ALEXANDER'S HIGHLAND MARKET LETS YOU SHOP ONLINE. I could have cried. As I typed in each item I needed and there it was, right there on the screen for me to magically add to my cart (which doesn't even HAVE wheels, much less CRAZY ONES!), my relief grew. My smile grew. My faith in humanity grew. "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!", I thought. When I was finished with the easiest shopping "trip" ever, I had the option to pick the time I would pick up my groceries or to have them delivered to my doorstep for $19.99. I mean, I'm no diva (ha), so I chose my pick-up time, and Boom! Done. I AM a grocery shopping champion!!!! The real life version was even better than my dream. I strolled into Alexander's, walked up to the service desk where they had a cart loaded with all of my items (complete with check off list for me to review), paid for my items and pranced out of there like a bad mamajama. I walked into my house like I owned the place (wait a second...) popped my items in the appropriate storage places and went about my super relaxed and organized existence. The hubs and fur balls didn't know who this stranger was that had taken over my body. I smiled feeling quite accomplished, and all was right with the world.
For those of you who live in Baton Rouge, here is the link to shop online with Alexander's Highland Market ~
https://shop.alexandersmkt.com/
If you live in Birmingham, which is not home to an Alexander's, don't worry, you have some options too! According to my research, www.shipt.com teamed up with Publix in May of 2014. This appears to be like the Uber of grocery shopping. For a yearly membership fee, members can have
individuals (who, according to their website, "can pick the perfect mango with their eyes closed". Score! I love mangos!), shop for them and deliver to their doorstep. Along with the very manageable yearly membership cost, their website also states that prices will vary slightly from the in-store prices. However, delivery is free for orders over $35.
If you are in San Fran, LA, San Jose, Manhattan, Chicago, Boston or Washington, DC, Google Shopping Express (https://www.google.com/express/?lct=true) couriers from Target, Whole Foods Walgreens and Costo, as long as the items you need are non-perishable. Membership fees apply. Their website promises they are quickly expanding to more areas.
Walmart has joined the online grocery shopping experience, but like Google Express, is still only in certain test areas, some shown below:
-Atlanta, GA
-Charlotte and Fayetteville, NC
-Salt Lake City and Ogden, Utah
-Nashvegas, TN
-Tucson, AZ
-Colorado Springs, CO
-Denver, CO
-Huntsville, AL
-Bentonville, AR
Check all Walmart availability here:
http://grocery.walmart.com/usd-estore/m/home/addressunavailable.jsp?zip=35226
Hopefully, more stores will start to offer this option, even to be occasionally used by their patrons. In the meantime, for all of those grocery stores that still don't offer this feature, I have two suggestions: Open bar or puppies. Or both. Guaranteed to make your shoppers' experiences more pleasurable.
If you happen to see me in a grocery store after reading this, I won't be offended if you run the other way. I totally understand, friends.
Cheers,
Angela
